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My Dad's Update:
June 15, 2009
Hi everyone, I am in Mobile, Alabama. Dad is in the hospital and he is now eating at least 65% of all his meals. My sister and her family came down from Memphis to visit too. I was really happy to see everyone. Dad's room has a suite included, so that's where I slept. He was up and down all night long, so I am really sleepy today. Not to mention the nurses are in and out all of the time! Hospitals are not for sleeping that's for sure! As I laid awake all night, I mostly thought about life and how short it really is. Life is really not a dress rehearsal, and it is so important to show love to others while you stil have a chance.
I will stay a few more days and keep you posted. The physican is suggesting a rehab 21 day stay at a local nursing home. I am not so sure about that, but it's dad's decision since he is still cognitively alert. He is just so weak and I am not sure his heart could take it. I will also talk it over with my other brothers and sisters since several are nurse managers and nurse practioners. I wil keep you posted. Thanks everyone for your support and concern. It is such an emotional time for me right now.
Clarissa
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June 8, 2009
QUESTION: My grandparents want to still have sex, and I think this is just gross. Should I let them?
Answer: Let them? They are two consenting adults, right? Forget the myth and stick to the fact that just because you are older does not mean your sexual desire diminishes. Sexual activity declines with age, but not your desire to do it. Give them their privacy and butt out! It’s your problem, not theirs.
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Question: How's your dad doing Clarissa? I understand that he is sick. Is this true?
Answer:
June 8, 2009
My Family Crisis: Yes, it's true. We thought we had lost him a few weeks ago, but he is a strong man and is fighting to live. He is on hospice and has been for several months. He is in the hospital at the moment, and I am driving down to Mobile to spend time with him over the next few days. I have seen a lot of death as a health care professional and as a community advocate for families working in various capacities. But it's a whole different emotion and feeling when it's your own parents or someone you love. I am grieving already for the sense of loss and I will be strong but devastated if we lose him. I just don't want to think about it right now okay? I feel sad. Just pray for me. My heart is so sad and burdened.
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June 1, 2009
QUESTION: What the three main reasons for divorce? My grandparents have decided to divorce after 35 years.
Answer: You know, today, the divorce rate is past 50% for all marriages. In fact, marriage for the second time escalates to a 60% divorce rate. So, they have obviously broken the record of longevity. According to marriage counselors and research the top three reasons for divorce are: money, communication, sex or problems in the bedroom. Unfortunately, most people aren’t really committed any more and love is a decision, not just a feeling. So, know that marriage is hard work and that divorce is not an option for you and your family. Besides…do you really think the grass is greener over yonder?” Most people seem to think so. Personally I don’t think so, I think it is green where ever you water it!
Keep the faith!
Clarissa
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Question: I am a family caregiver taking care of my mom with a mental illness. My mother’s personality is also changing. Should I go and see the doctor, all they will do is put her on more medications? What would I do?
Answer:
June 1, 2009
Tip of the Week: Family caregivers who have parents with a mental illness will usually find that things get worse with time. Medications can help them, but there’s more you can do. You have more problems when mental illness is combined with dementia or some type of memory impairment. Caring for a person who is changing right before your eyes means that you need to contact your family, community resources, and physician for support.
The very first thing that you should do is get your family member to his or her physician, one who understands mental illness and the entire family caregiving situation in which you are undertaking. You don’t know what the problem could be… it could be anything from nutritional deficiencies to delirium or periods of brief confusion. There may be subtle changes in mood, thinking, judgment, and other behavioral problems. Be sure that you are in a safe environment, structure the day as much as possible, and contact your local Alzheimer’s Association and your local mental health support services. The more you know about your loved one’s disease, the better prepared you will be to plan ahead and cope with changes as they occur. Be sure to take care of yourself because it can be stressful on the physical and emotional heart! Sometimes caring for someone else makes you feel like you are losing your own mind!
Take care of yourself,
Clarissa
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