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Just Ask the Caregiving Doctor
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August 15, 2009
My Dad Passed Away Early A.M.
I just wanted you to know. Shocked even though I knew it was coming. In the bed all day with the covers over my head. Funeral is this Saturday. I have put everything in place (with sibling feedback of course), so this has helped because I could not think this morning! I could not remember my own telephone number for a few minutes. I think this is called mental overload. God is giving me peace of mind because I gave dad his flowers while he lived. He called me his "angel" just four days ago, and that's pretty special coming from a my dad. Glad I had a chance to speak with him over the telephone yesterday and say, "I love you." Thanks everyone for your ongoing support and prayers. One day at a time for me now. My life will never be the same. Numb at the moment, but will eventually breakdown and cry in my own private sort of way. No more pain dad...no more suffering.
Clarissa
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August 3, 2009
Hello everyone!
E:mail question from Atlanta, GA., 8/2/09.
Clarissa, I noticed that you don't have any famous quotes on your website. Do you have a favorite quote in life?
Answer: Yes, I do, and it's my favorite quote from John C. Maxwell. I read most if not all of his books. Here it goes! "People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care!" I have found this to be true in every aspect of relationships and life. It's not your college degrees (although these are commendable), your good looks, your money or perceived status in life. It's when people discover that you really are care conscious or concerned about them, providence moves! You open doors to form new and meaningful relationships. You are viewed as a caring and compassionate person, something we need more in this world! So, that's my favorite. Of course I have tons of others, but this one, I quote the most when speaking at conferences and to people in general. Thanks for the question. By the way, I will check into adding "care quotes" on my website!
Clarissa
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July 27, 2009
Greetings to all!
A special "hello" to all of the family caregivers out there on the front-lines of life! This includes lay family caregivers and professional caregivers. I just got back from Mobile again with dad! I want to go as much as possible because this is the only way to keep up with his care and status when you are a long distance caregiver. It is best to go and see what's happening for yourself!
A question came was e-mailed to me this week about the upcoming National Caregivers Month, which is held every year in November, the month of my birthday! Yes, this year we will be hosting weekly seminars, radio and TV spots, and conducting massive education for the public. I hope to give out tons of gifts and to have several book signings. I am also excited about networking with other oganizations to collaborate our efforts to help meet the needs of family caregivers in this state and across the nation. Please log into NFCA for more information! If you would like to volunteer, please contact me at: 1-888-496-8866, and my assistant will contact me with your message. Thanks again, and for your ongoing support for my family!
Peace,
Clarissa
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July 20, 2009
Hello Everyone,
Update on my dad: He's still hanging on, barely. He is clearly declining and does not talk on the telephone any more with vigor. His voice has weakened. Anyway, we have things already in place and we will abide by his wishes. Grief and loss is real.
I cannot stress the importance of getting your affairs in order. You don't have to wait to do this. You can begin with a simple sheet of paper to write down your thoughts in case something would happen to you. Of course, you need to do things more officially and possibly with an attorney, but it's a great start.
Next week I will be back conducting seminars and performing radio tips. I am excited about my future and the opportunity to help others! It's just so cool to help others!
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July 13, 2009
Greetings to All,
Question: I was at the store when I heard two women talking about recently losing their mothers. As I listened, I thought to myself, I am not alone. So my question is... "Why do I feel all alone?"
Answer: I feel all alone because grief and loss can be a lonely journey. That's we need each other. Comforting one another is how things should be. I have found that loneliness is a reality for most of us, even though we may have others around us. In this life, I believe that there are very few people who are considered, "true friends." Yes, I said it! I know tons of people, but I'm talking about down-to-earth true friends who are nonjudgmental and accepting.
When you go through a crisis, your friends become even more apparent, that's why I continue to focus on God as my source. My expectations for others to "give" are minimal, and when I do receive, it's often frightening. No one knows the heart because it can be deceitful. In fact, it's best to just treat others like you want to treated, don't expect much in return, and go on with you life! The reality of death has shocked me into reality to say this...you can only be responsible for your own actions, your own thinking, feelings, and motivations. To all the family caregivers out there, just do your best in everything that you do!
Clarissa
p.s. The answer to my last e-mail is this... I am doing the best I can to take care of myself.
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